“Nursing is an art: and if it is to be made an art, it requires an exclusive devotion as hard a preparation as any painters or sculptors work.”– Florence Nightingale.
Today was the first day of my 3rd semester of Nursing School. The weeks leading up to this day have been both exhausting mentally, and filled with anxiety.
Well, to start off, this semester is going to be my preceptorship. Which means I’m basically a probono-nurse. I get to follow around a nurse from different facilities and be the one taking care of all of his/her patients. On top of taking care of their patients, I will also have to pick 2 patients of my own that I will be providing care for and completing clinical paperwork on.
I know what you’re thinking, “oh that doesn’t sound so bad.”
I’m getting there.
For any of you who are not currently in or have never been in a nursing program, clinical paperwork takes hours to complete. It’s not just clicking a button and it charts it for you, or you have options to choose from. All documentation that’s done is handwritten. Everything you see. Everything that was said. Everything that happened. Right down to each individual medication that patient takes.
AND you have to do research on their disease process.
The paperwork part I have been preparing for all year, it’s stressful because it’s time consuming, but.. what I’m stressed over is the actual performing the care by myself. Doing all my skills I’ve spent the last 8 months learning. The skills I have only practiced a handful of times on mannequins. I am both excited and nervous.
Second, I’m stressed over my preceptor quizzing me on material I KNOW that I know but in the moment I blank or freeze up. I’m counting on their reviews of me during their observation of my practice to push me through to graduation. And I’m afraid of not being prepared no matter how much time I spend studying you never know what you’re going to get.
This semester is going to determine if I’m prepared to enter into the work place and finally, after over a decade of dreaming, be the nurse on the floor. I am praying that I’m going to have what it takes and that I have retained all that I can to prepare myself for the nursing world.
I’ll (hopefully) keep everyone updated on what’s going on with this semester. I have had a terrible time keeping up with this blog, especially with second semester kicking my butt the way it did.
Thank you to everyone who has provided support, and encouragement during this journey! You are all appreciated and I could not have gotten this far without y’all!
So, for those who don’t actually know, my name is Amber, I have a 2 year old son named Kai, and I am embarking on the journey that is nursing. Exciting right?
Let me begin first by sharing that while it is exciting, it has been excruciatingly difficult. Nursing school…. Is no joke.
Add the terrible 2’s on top of that and minimal support system. HELLO NO SLEEP TEAM!
I am currently in my first semester, and we’re about to finish spring break. Which means we have 6 more weeks left in the semester. WHICH MEANS… We’re a little over half way through this first semester. I’m not going to sugar coat this, it’s been very, very difficult. Like, I think 90% of my days consist of me wanting to cry, and 10% actually crying.
My favorite question to be asked daily * no sarcasm whatsoever*
“why are you so tired? you just go to school all day.”
There are so many things that go on behind the scenes that not everyone will get to witness. From the outside, you see someone in a white uniform who sits in a classroom, probably make a little joke about how they look because let’s face it, it’s ugly, but you don’t see every other thing that goes on inside their head, and through out each and everyday.
My mornings start off, always, 0400 hours, with the most annoying and excruciatingly loud alarm. Rolling over with 10 pound weights hanging on my eyelids. And as I do every morning I tape them to my brows and get up for the day. Tip toeing down the stairs in attempt to not wake up my mini.
As I’m creeping down the stairs I start forming my list. “What do I need to do to make sure I leave on time today?” I ask myself.
– iron my scrubs.
-pick out Kai’s clothes.
– Make my lunch.
– make Jacobs lunch.
– Feed Sprite.
– protein shake for Jacob.
I need some kind of energy, do I make coffee or buy an energy drink on my way to class?
– looks like today I’m making coffee.
– do I have creamer? Sugar?
– do I need to go the store today?
– what am I making for dinner ? Should I use my crock pot or should I just bake some chicken ?
– did I finish my homework yesterday? Do I have a test today? Did I study enough last night?
– pack my bags and put them in the car. Yes, bags. Plural. 4, to be exact, not including my lunch.
– do I have all my supplies ? I know we’re doing IVs today but do I have literally every supply for every other skill ever that we won’t even do until next semester? Can’t afford to be absent today for forgetting something we’re not using.
– pull my hair back in a bun, should I use gel today? How bad are my fly aways? Will they notice if I have a little bump in the back? Is that going in my rubric? Oh NO! Where’s my hair net!!? Great, there’s a hole. Now I need to buy a new one.
– where’s my watch? Where’s my ID? adhesive bandage to cover my tattoos.
Great, now it’s 0530. Time is flying this morning. Will I have enough time before I have to leave?
– wake up Kai, feed him.
– get him ready to go. Does he have what he needs for school? Did I bring his blanket yesterday or did I forget, again? Just bring an extra one just in case.
– great, it’s 0615.
– now I get myself ready to go. One more final round to make sure I have everything before I leave.
– 0630 depart.
– drop kai off.
– go to school.
Now I’ve been awake for 3 hours and all I’ve managed to accomplish is getting from point A to point B and C. I have 45 minutes until class starts, I’m going to try to get ahead on home work. Or should I study for med-surg? Our exam is 2 chapters next week.
Why am I so tired? Oh yeah! My coffee.
Class starts. 0800-1700. Today I have a 40 minute lunch.
-1700 get out, 1720 pick up Kai, go home.
I have 45 minutes until I have to start dinner.
Sits down to start my homework. “Mommy Mommy mommy” Kai running up to me full speed. “JUICE” or “SNACKS!”
“Watch movie? Despic me?”
“Cars!!! Where is it? Get it!”
“Mommy here! Lay down. ”
Now it’s 1830, I have to start dinner and got no homework done.
Start dinner. 1845 Jacob calls to ask what I’m making.
“Chicken / pork / tacos AGAIN?!”
sigh. Yes. Again.
1900 dinners ready.
– feed Kai,
– feed Jacob.
– serve myself and prepare to eat. But then 1,000 different times asked to get up, get sauce, get drinks, serve more, Kai’s making a mess, Kai’s done eating, I haven’t even started yet. Kai wants up. Time for a bath. Take Kai upstairs to get ready for bed, it’s 2000. I’ll go back and eat when I’m done.
– bathe Kai, get him in his pajamas, back downstairs
Pack lunch for the next day, clean the kitchen, it’s 2100. Crap. I haven’t gotten any homework done.
– finally sit down to do homework and study. Snap of a finger, it’s 2200. I don’t have an exam tomorrow, and all my homework is done, I can go to bed.
– 30 minutes into trying to fall asleep after going over my list for the next day…. I FORGOT TO EAT AGAIN. Oh well, we’ll try again tomorrow.
Dark circles, large bags, day in, day out and absolutely no time to myself. That is why I’m so tired. I have to remind myself everyday that I chose this. I have my days where I just want to crawl under a rock and give up. But I can’t. I have to keep pushing forward.
– thanks for listening to my mini rant. I’ll be doing more informative posts soon, but I needed to get this off my chest.